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’ Dane and Camille giggle like children. The Australian is still snoring. They stay like that for a time, he inside her, arms locked around one another. After a while they roll very carefully so that he is on his back and she is curled up against his side. Eventually she slips into sleep, but not Dane. He is awake, wondering if it will be different this time. Wondering what the morning will bring. Wondering how much this would cost. As the sun begins to rise, he falls asleep. Some time later, he can’t be sure how much, he feels her rise, hears her putting on her clothes. He knows that in a moment she will shake him awake, will smile and whisper a price and that will be that. She will fade away one more time. So he stays in bed without moving, imagining that it isn’t going to happen, pretending that she’s just going to kiss him good-bye and she will go to work and he will lay in bed half-asleep and happy and they will be just like normal people are. He hears her go into the tiny. I loved her enquiring mind and the fact that, though almost entirely self taught, she had a highly developed sense of what was logical and what was right. I often considered how the circumstances in which she had grown up; her promiscuous mother and lack of father might have shaped her. To be honest I found the question too complex to understand, especially since I came from a safe childhood with a loving father and an efficient if uncaring mother (who later turned very uncaring when she discovered my sexuality). ‘Your trouble, College, is that you grew up expecting your mother to love you.’ Donna said this as we enjoyed our regular glass of wine at the local pub. Nellie was enjoying a regular’s conversation with her breasts which rested comfortably, like two Halloween pumpkins on the bar, encased as they were in a yellow t shirt. ‘I never had that expectation as far as I can recall.’ ‘So many people are damaged by the absence of parental affection but you don’t seem to have been..
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